sorry for the long no-update. things have been going ok for the most part. i'm coming off a depressing spell tho. i wondered when/if it would happen after the unusually long good/happy spell. i got to hear most of the other composers' works and it was really impressive/intimidating, as was seeing the musicians that came in and site read it. it was so impressive and really made me wonder if its too little too late for me. i guess when you spend the majority of your life doing music full time you get really good at it. (vs me who previously just did it in his free time). but anyway, i still feel like this is where i need to be altho its probably more likely i'll end up teaching or using music in some other less competitive way. i've also been put in several composing situations where i've really started to realize my short comings. but at the same time i think i'll be ok... but it did have me toying w/ the idea of quiting. but i think i was just frustrated and am over it now....
i also think it was just a depressing spell that seems to come and go sometimes.
i went to the unity church today for the first time. i've been feeling really unsatisfied w/ the unitarian church so i thought i'd research my other options. unity church is kind of a new agey Christian church. it is very spirited (which was what i was missing), but almost too much. i don't think it could work out for me. they think everything happens for a reason, everything is planned out and executed by God. and the seemed a little cultish/scary to me. like when the preacher greeted me (seeing i was a visitor before the service started) she said "welcome home".
but there's not going to be a perfect church for me i don't think, so i don't know what i'll do.
everything else is pretty normal i guess.
10:41 p.m. - 2007-02-04
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