So i think the past 3 or 4 dland entries I've attempted have all been aborts. They end up so negative and depressing that I don't want to post them. I'm in a little better mood today so maybe this one will make it through.
Summing it up. We seem so desperate to sum it up. To attach a good or bad label to it. Does this agree with what I prefer or does it not agree? What is it that I prefer? I must know! Contemplation can get you stuck in some bad places. I'm starting to think it makes more sense to just be what you are. Do what you know is right and just trust and go with it. Trust that feeling and let go of the summing up. Life is what it is and we should do what we feel compelled to do.
But my brain seems to thrive on dilemmas. Its like I've become addicting to being stuck in this "I don't know what to do" state. If I just do what I feel compelled to do, won't I lead a selfish life? I need to sum up what the absolute best thing to do would be and then do that. But you know what. I'm tired of wasting all this time summing and thinking and not actually doing much. There's plenty to go ahead and do. I think I need to just start doing more.
I guess it's a balance isn't it? I can't completely throw away my analytical forward looking self. It does serve a purpose. I just have to allow both sides to be and to respect the other. I feel like I'm mediating a fight between the right and left hemispheres of my brain. I wonder which half is doing the mediating??
10:39 p.m. - 2014-05-17
Recent entries:
honesty was a luxury and now i think i'm broke - 2015-04-09
left vs right brain - 2014-05-17
one day at a time - 2013-09-20
compulsive internet surfing - 2013-04-14
ski trip - 2013-02-08
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