So, its been awhile. About 6 months to be exact. There's no way to cover all the stuff thats happened but i'll try to hit the main things:
overall, my first year as a music student went well. I had a harder time making friends than i would have liked but i did make some. (that aspect is going better this year since i am in classes with all the new grad students � now that I am officially in grad school). I was intimidated by how good everyone was but in the end i felt comfortable with my abilities and potential for growth.
I had my first concert (last year) which was music i composed and recorded/sequenced for a modern dance performance. It went over well with the audience and i got some compliments from friends and from some others i didn't know. So that was nice. I am now a big modern dance fan so it was so cool to have written the music for one and have it performed at one of their big dances.
I've had a lot more girl developments than in the past (due largely to being surrounded by college girls rather than middle aged male engineers)... however, at this point, nothing substantial has happened. There usually ends up being some issue: i like her, but am not all that physically attracted to her, or i am incredibly physically attracted to her and she's all over me but i find out she's engaged, w/ a kid. Or we both appear to like each other but she used to be engaged to one of my good friends (over a year ago) and he acts like he still likes her... this one has been consuming my thoughts lately... i wish things didn't have to be so complicated. Its a rather long story so i won't get into it. Sometimes i think about talking to my friend about it but its a sore subject for him and it never feels right to bring it up... things are currently kind of weird between me and the girl... i hate it when you can't just tell people what the deal is, so then everyone ends up feeling awkward and guessing what the other is thinking.... i really dislike these problems that i feel unable to solve. This being one of several (the other main one being related to religion and my relation to my family and old religious friends.)
I worked all summer at my old engineering job, getting paid more per hr than when i originally worked there. So that was absolutely crucial for my financial situation. I worked a good bit of overtime and helped out on some important work and did fairly well, so i was happy about that.
I went to the beach and had even better luck with the waves than the year before. So i really enjoyed that.
So far this school year has been going pretty good. I won a contest and had one of my pieces played by the faculty at a concert and got some press out of it, so that was cool...
been reading �zen and the art of motorcycle maintenance� and enjoying it. First time i tried to read it was about 8 yrs ago and i thought it was boring and put it away. But now i get a lot more of the analogies and zen references and seem to be more in the mood to read it. It starts off pretty slow and heavy on the motorcycle stuff but it gets really intriguing later.
I went and saw bodyworlds http://www.bodyworlds.com/en.html an anatomical exhibit featuring real human cadavers preserved in a very clean way so you could see everything well. It was really in depth; took about 3-4 hrs to go thru. You see all the organs, muscles, nerves, affects of disease, etc... i think the most powerful thing was how it makes you aware on a deeper level where you came from (they had a fetus exhibit) and where you're going to end up. I like it when you feel those moments of deep meaning/awe that you can't quite describe and can't get without experiencing for yourself. You can talk about abortion all day but its not until you look into the closed eyes of a real fetus that you sense at a deeper level what it is you're talking about. It was a little mentally disturbing but probably only in a good way. I think its good to understand the true nature of things. You see the body for what it is.
Well this entry is too long as it is so i'll save some for next time.
11:19 p.m. - 2007-10-19
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