I once dreamed God was a balloon outside my house that I had to keep filling up with air. Its funny what you will believe when you�re dreaming.
So spring break is finally here and my recital is behind me. I have to say I was pleased with how it went. It was way more work than I thought it would be but in the end it was a fun thing to have done. All I have left is a thesis and various classes. But the recital was the big thing. So now its starting to set in that I�ve done it. I went from a basically self-taught guitarist / songwriter to getting a master�s degree in music composition from a classical conservatory. There were times I didn�t think I could do it. but I stuck it out and I�m glad I did. Now in some ways, I have even bigger challenges waiting for me. I just hope I like teaching. If I do, I think things could be straight forward. But I�ll deal w/ whatever happens. I�ve already got a gig lined up this summer teaching high school students various music composition classes, so that should help me decide.
Lately I�ve been more confused than normal. I�ve been reading a book by krishnamurti that contradicts the Eckhart Tolle stuff in spots (even though they are also quite similar in some respects). I�ve also just been confused on a larger scale about what I really want out of life, and what I think about life and what are the right things for me to be doing. Maybe I should just go back to reading tolle again. Things made more sense then. Sometimes I wish I could just go out, be silly, and have fun like so many other people appear to do. Life just seems rather unappealing to me right now.
10:59 p.m. - 2010-03-14
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