my Dad committed suicide a little over 1 month ago. I've tried to write in here about it but I always end up not wanting to share it because its too personal. I don't have the energy to try and re-tell the story, so I'll keep it short and will probably write more later.
My Dad fought a long and courageous battle with depression but in the end it was just too much. We don't really know exactly what happened but his anti-depressants had just been adjusted and then he quit cold turkey for 3 days before it happened. There were no warning signs. It was a complete shock to everybody.
It's felt like a dream ever since it happened but its starting to set in more now and it feels pretty awful. I loved my Dad; we were like best friends. He was my go-to guy for so many things. He was probably my favorite person to talk to. So smart about so many things. We did so much together (skiing, sailing, windsurfing, ping pong, shooting pool, basketball, putt putt, etc) and I loved to talk about religion and life with him. It is an unbelievably big loss for me. I can't believe I'll go the rest of my life without being able to talk with him again.
The other crisis in my family is still on-going; this was not it. but I am determined not to let it drag me down.
Everything in my life was just put on hold. This is going to be tough to deal with, and I just lost my main confidant who would normally be there to help me through it. At least I still have a lot of other good family/friends, but its still going to be real hard.
11:10 p.m. - 2012-06-09
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