I�m beginning to think God may have a sense of humor.
Last time I wrote about how difficult it is struggling with your faith when you have a strong Christian past. The social pressure to conform to their ideals is enormous. ok, so i�m eating lunch with the young adult unitarian group today after the service, and who do i bump into but my previous sunday school group that i used to go out and each lunch with afterwards (from a very conservative church). so i notice them and say hey, and they ask where i�ve been and what church i�m attending now. i tell them the Unitarian church and these are my friends from that church. this was particularly hard telling the friend that i made at the church and still hang out with. he�s VERY conservative but a nice guy. there was definitely a sense of surprise and a little shock when i told them, but they were nice and seemed accepting. the funny part was that for church that day people dressed up for halloween. the children that were with us were all dressed up and the pastor and his wife were as well. the pastor was dressed as a werewolf with his hair teased all over the place. they sat down with us right across from my old church friends. i don�t know, it was just interesting how the situation was forced upon me where i had to tell where i was going, but it was done so in a funny circumstance. just the fact that i�m sure they�re very weary of the UU church and the fact that the pastor was dressed as a werewolf just seemed ironic and like God was helping me resolve a difficult situation by telling me not to take things so seriously. what would the chances be that my first lunch outing with the UU�s would coincide with my old church�s at the same restaurant in a fairly large city? and that on that day our pastor would be dressed as a werewolf? i later told my family over the phone that i�d been attending the UU church, and it actually went pretty well. my Mom was surprised but took it very well. i was surprised how well she took it. what a feeling of relief....
The UU has a series on teaching meditation and i went to the first one last week and plan on going again tomorrow. it was very interesting. i�d never thought that not thinking would be of benefit. my way of solving a problem is think think think, along with reading and writing. but with so many people inclined to just sit there for quite awhile just concentrating on breathing or body sensations and attempting to clear the mind, i figure there is probably something to it. and i did some research on the internet and they have done studies that show it beneficial for a number of things: help to relieve anxiety, depression, stress. i feel like i sleep a little better afterwards.
other than the above, my life has been pretty typical. altho i�ve been meeting more people and am happy about that. work still stresses me out but i�m able to manage it better now, and still live my life. i�m still real depressed a lot of the time but i at least feel a little more in control now and feel like i�m at least moving a little bit, altho i need to progress more and faster but i�ll take any progress i can get.
7:31 p.m. - 2004-10-31
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