(incase anyone is interested: i uploaded the songs i wrote to a new website so they are available. also, this time i don't think you have to register or anything like that to listen. i have one new song up there.)
i decided to not think about my problems today, and i�ve actually been somewhat successful at it. it req�d a lot of meditating. because of doing this, today has been better than average. its funny to think about what i could write in here. i�ve been reading a good bit about Buddhism. it teaches things like the discriminatory mind plagues man, and blinds him from the truth, seeing his own true nature. i�m somewhat skeptical but at the same time very open minded about it. i�ve often wondered if it was possible that our logic was really not good for much when it came to obtaining peace or understanding the meaning of our lives. and i do see how in a lot of ways our minds really can plague us, especially if you�re an intravert like me. one thing i noticed today while constantly keeping my mind in check (focusing most of the time on just counting my breaths or reading) was how hard i am on myself. so many of my thoughts were negative ones as if i was a bully picking on myself. no wonder i�m depressed so much of the time. i think the major benefit of the exercise was finally being able to get away from that bully. previously i would think i was working on solving my problems but a lot of the time was just being spent beating myself up about things.
its hard to write a entry without being discriminatory..... you run out of things to say fairly quickly.
8:37 p.m. - 2005-02-13
Recent entries:
honesty was a luxury and now i think i'm broke - 2015-04-09
left vs right brain - 2014-05-17
one day at a time - 2013-09-20
compulsive internet surfing - 2013-04-14
ski trip - 2013-02-08
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